Written by: Samira Clemente, Life Coach
Why did I say that?! I’m such an idiot!!
Have you ever regretted something you said in the heat of the moment and then for the rest of the day it played over and over in your head, causing you to imagine how you could have done things differently, said something else, or how you could have been more proactive or calm in your response?
Wouldn’t it be great to be able to truly think about your words without your emotions taking over?
Have you noticed that some people just seem to always have the right thing to say, putting others at ease and naturally connecting to them?
Why do they always seem to get what they want? Have you ever wondered how they do it?
What if I told you, you could do the same just by understanding the difference between “responding” and “reacting” to others?
What if I told you that just by truly understanding and applying this difference you could positively impact every outcome of every aspect of your life?
Let’s take a look.
When you react, this is what it could look like:
1. You make others wrong: When you make others wrong, you don’t take responsibility and you rob yourself of the ability to learn, grow, and connect with others.
2. You live in a state of in-authenticity: This is limiting, and can lead to anxiety, regret, and feelings of loss which are all low-vibrating emotions that lead to negative self-talk (that darn voice in your head that never stops)!
3. You may miss out on opportunities of love, self-expression, and even fun and adventure!
4. You enter a state where you try and dominate others: This doesn’t allow for active listening and real understanding.
Now let’s take a look at what responding could look like:
1. You step into a world where you will be able to create your own circumstances: Rather than allow them to be created for you, by actively listening and engaging in productive dialog..
2. You speak from a space of being open and authentic: Who doesn’t love to be around someone who is transparent?
3. You are able to stop second-guessing yourself and what you’ve said: This allows you to live in the present-We all know the past belongs only in the past.
So, keep this distinction in mind next time you lose it; reacting is automatic and requires no effort or sincere thought while responding requires you to think. It’s that simple!
Slow down and put some thought into how you respond to others during tough situations. Watch how people and situations start to appear and manifest differently from this space because when you react, you miss out on wonderful and exciting opportunities with good people.
But make sure you’re not too hard on yourself because this is a skill and it will require you to practice it over and over again.
So, if you do end up reacting to something someone said or did, just take a step back and respond instead. You’ll be surprised at how understanding people can be when you’re open to taking responsibility for the way you have reacted. Heck, you may even inspire them to do the same!!
So remember, choosing to respond rather than react allows us to enjoy a new world of love, connections, opportunity, possibilities, and a world we can feel free to “create our own circumstances” and our own destiny.A Final Thought:
Are you showing up to life as a person who responds or a person who reacts? Think about a situation where you were reactive. Now, imagine the situation if you had responded instead. How would it have turned out differently? What could have been created? What lessons could have you learned from it? How could it have been a gift to others?